A playdate is an organized meeting where parents come together with their children at a public or private location to interact socially or “play.” Children no longer simply “go out and play,” rather, play is arranged, scheduled, and parentally-approved and supervised. How do these playdates happen? Who gets asked and who doesn’t? What is acceptable play behavior? In The Playdate, Tamara R. Mose focuses on the parents of young children in New York City to explore how the shift from spontaneous and child-directed play to managed and adult-arranged playdates reveals the structures of modern parenting and the new realities of childhood. Mose argues that with the rise of moral panics surrounding child abuse, pedophilia, and fears about safety in the city, as well as helicopter parenting, and over-scheduling, the playdate has emerged as not just a necessity in terms of security and scheduling, but as the very hallmark of good parenting.
Based on interviews with parents, teachers, childcare directors, and nannies from Brooklyn, Manhattan, Queens, and Long Island, the book provides a first-hand account of the strategies used by middle-class parents of young children to navigate social relationships—their own and those of their children. Mose shows how parents use playdates to improve their own experiences of raising children in New York City while at the same time carefully managing and ensuring their own social and cultural capital. Mose illustrates how the organization of playdates influences parents’ work lives, friendships, and public childrearing performances, and demonstrates how this may potentially influence the social development of both children and parents. Ultimately, this captivating and well-researched book shows that the playdate is much more than just “child’s play.”
Tamara Mose on The Brian Lehrer Show

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Mose, Tamara R.

United States, United States of America

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This book would not see the light of day had it not been for the collaborative minds and actions of a variety of people. Typically family members are relegated to the end of the acknowledgments section of thebook for fear that somehow placing them at the fore may make one’s research look less rigorous. I’m not one for conformity and therefore choose to place them front and center. My children, now ages two, ten, and eleven, have served as great inspirations from the very beginning of this project by giving me insight into their social worlds. Alyssia and Matisse have given me the biggest challenge of my life, being a parent, and I have come to learn to be a better one because of them. Tobias will be the beneficiary of his siblings’ teachings. This project would not be possible without Elaine Brown, who babysat my older children during a stay while I went from interview to interview across New York City. Thank you for your patience during this time. To my parents, Charmion and Kenrick Mose, who have also taken care of my children while I analyzed data and wrote the preliminary draft of this book in Canada, you have always been so selfless in helping me achieve my goals. I cannot thank you enough. Additional childcare has been given by my sister Debbie Mose and brother-in-law Norm Perreault, whom I am forever grateful to have in my life. And thanks to my sister Charonne Mose and my niece Kaaya Bufford for your continued support during mymore chaotic moments in life.

2023-03-31