Prologue : the origins of a career, or, Selected documents for an academic resume
My forefathers and other falsifiable stories, or, A little lie can get you further than you think
The curriculum vitae and the iron law of the academy, or, Blowing your own horn doesn't hurt anybody else
Perks, boons and boondoggles, or, When freebies get you less than meets the eye
The perplexing perversities of perjury, or, Why untruth is not always the opposite of truth
The lonely crowd
students as products and peers, or, If your colleagues only treated us the way you do
What a (department) chair and a dog have in common, or, The great experience of being kicked and kicking back
The faculty's fallacious but felicitous faculties, or, Nemesis and when not to love thy colleague as thyself
Life and representation on a company farm, or, Professor quick-win hires consultant quick-fix
The rating, ranking and baiting game, or, Don't believe all you read about yourself even if true
Funding, foundations and fellowships, or, Better get what you can while the going is good
The pleasures of conferencing and other indoor sports, or, You haven't lived until living it up in French Lick
At last a little journal all my own, or, Saying no, no, no can get you into trouble
Burps, blurbs and the joy of having a book editor, or, How to call on your friends and deceive your readers
Awards and rewards for meritocratic conduct, or, Being surprised on being honored without even trying
The fine arts of gossiping, hyping, and spinning or How the academic mind really works
Trauma, valium and a cocktaill called martini, or Surviving the revolution in the trenches of the Hilton
De mortuis nil nisi bonum, or, Better write your own obituary before it is too late.
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